24-year-old woman loses it on wealthy boyfriend after he holds his finances over her head: ‘"You’re lucky I love you and am paying more for rent’"

Author image for Lana DeGaetano
Lana DeGaetano • "Show me to me please."
Mar 11, 2025 8:00 AM EDT

It's 2025. Let's leave nonsensical gender roles and expectations at the door, outside in the cold, forever. The common stereotype that a man should provide for the woman and the woman should stay at home with their many of children is so outdated. This job market, however, is no joke. You've likely been reading everywhere that hiring rates have been exceptionally low in the last year or so, and the economy is concerning everyone quite a bit. When you're in a partnership with someone, knowing they can keep you afloat until you can be your own life preserver again is comforting… But not when the same partners hold that "help" over your head.

In this next story, a young woman calls out her rich boyfriend after he tells her that she's "lucky" that he loves her and is paying more money in rent in their shared home. In a relationship, an "I scratch your back, you scratch mine" mentality is a recipe for disaster. Scroll to see how this story unfolds below.

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  • The 24-year-old woman explains that she has been in graduate school for the lats few years and is struggling with some student loan debt. She doesn't graduate until September, but she and her boyfriend of three-and-a-half years will be moving into an apartment together in June. Her boyfriend, however, makes a great living, has a trust fund, and will be inheriting a large sum of money in the next few years. Though the woman has savings, her boyfriend doesn't understand her anxiety around her current finances. Then, her boyfriend makes an awful joke and admits something drastic…

  • "I told him he has no idea what it's like and his advice means nothing to me because he comes at it with such a sense of privilege."
    via Getty Images For Unsplash+

    The image does not depict the actual subjects of the story. Subjects are models.

  • "AITA for being frustrated with my rich boyfriend for trying to give me money advice?"

    My boyfriend (24M) and I (24F) are moving in together in June. We have been together for 3.5 years. I have been in grad school for the past few years, have significant student loan debt and will not have any steady income until September after I graduate and start my job.
    via Remarkable_Cow2557
  • I have some money in savings so am planning to use that to survive and pay rent the next few months. He was trying to be helpful and help me create a budget but kept overstepping
    via Remarkable_Cow2557
  • and making me feel stupid. I don't think this was his intentions but I felt very frustrated and I told him to back off as I felt he just couldn't understand.
    via Remarkable_Cow2557
  • For context, he makes a ton of money, has a trust fund, a huge inheritance coming his way in a few years, and he receives from his parents yearly THREE TIMES the amount I am trying to survive on for the next 6 months. So financially we are on different planets.
    via Remarkable_Cow2557
  • He said something along the lines of "you're lucky I love you and am paying more for rent because it's not really equal" (he is paying 2:1 based on his income, family money and my debt which we agreed on).
    via Remarkable_Cow2557
  • I kind of lost it on him. I told him he has no idea what it's like and his advice means nothing to me because he comes at it with such a sense of privilege. Of course he
    via Remarkable_Cow2557
  • took this the wrong way and stormed out and said not to talk to him. AITA for getting frustrated with him and bringing up our differences in finances?
    via Remarkable_Cow2557
  • Edit: for context, my hard situation is that I am in graduate school and am getting paid via grants (very little amounts) it's confusing. He was trying to help me be less stressed and tbf had really good intentions. I felt like
    via Remarkable_Cow2557
  • he wouldn't let me figure it out on my own despite me saying over and over I wanted to because frankly he was just making me more stressed. He has not and never has made any comments about what I spend my money on.
    via Remarkable_Cow2557
  • MONTHLY BUDGET OVERVIEW www WAT . . LONG C PETS FINANCE TRACKER MONTHLY AND TO .
    via NORTHFOLK for Unsplash
  • I had also found out he had taken my post grad job salary and made a note of how I should budget it which I found insulting and overstepping. I am financially
    via Remarkable_Cow2557
  • literate and have a lot in savings, I am good with money overall. I just have been in school now for 7 years for an advanced degree and at the moment am low on funds.
    via Remarkable_Cow2557
  • I also have had a conversation w him and he has apologized for the "you're lucky" comment. He realizes that even the amount we are splitting isn't equitable and says he didn't mean it that way.
    via Remarkable_Cow2557
  • Treefro... "You're lucky I love you," is kind of gross, especially in an unbalanced financial dynamic. Like, get over yourself, pal. Do you really honestly think your girlfriend is just as special as you are, cause it doesn't sound like it.
    via Treefrog_Ninja
  • NTA, OP. Your bf is just being a run-of-the-mill pampered kid who is accustomed to being praised for every semi-intelligent thing that comes out of his mouth, and was angry at you for not looking up to him in gratitude for his tone- deaf analysis and patronizing advice. Hopefully, he sees a more moderate perspective when he cools down.
    via Treefrog_Ninja
  • PurpleStar1965 Don't move in with him. He will hold the financial inequity over your head. He will make "helpful" comments about your expenditures- "gee, did you really need that new
    via PurpleStar1965
  • lipstick/sweater/life saving medicine, you have several already" type of comment. "If you can afford that weekend trip, you should be contributing more to rent this month". Etc. etc.
    via PurpleStar1965
  • He will never understand your budget or your financial goals. because he has never had to adhere to any of that or worry about any of that.
    via PurpleStar1965
  • brownricegirafferye My husband earns more than 2x what I do. When we bought a house, his mom helped us so we could do so without a mortgage, but I brought very little to the financial table. When I was overwhelmed with kids as a sahm he said he'd step up more and we can hire help. I said that's not fair, I'm not working this is supposed to be my job".
    via brownricegirafferye
  • His response was simply that we are a family, there's no fair and not fair, just coming together to support each other to get the sh that needs to get done done. This is how family is supposed to work. If someone is holding their better financial situation over you, I'd question what your future would look like!
    via brownricegirafferye

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